


It Hurts, but I Really Love You

by YuriAllDahWay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drama, F/F, Modern AU, Romance, Yuri, somewhat smut?, yumikuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 02:58:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1728572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuriAllDahWay/pseuds/YuriAllDahWay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started with a supposedly fate meeting, and now, when Krista has to leave Ymir under circumstances she cannot control, they try to make a lasting impression on one another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Hurts, but I Really Love You

She had no idea if she was destined to meet this woman. This tiny, little blonde woman that held all of her heart in her small hands, even though Ymir loathe to admit it, was the entirety of the whole goddamn universe to her. How they grew to even such a level is something she will never be able to comprehend, but it was damn well one of the best things that had ever happened to her fucked up life, if not,  _the_ best. Her mind was nothing but a gurgling cauldron with every single cheesy thought known to mankind when she set her brown eyes upon the blonde's, but by whatever god out there that ever decided to listen to Ymir, Krista Lenz was gorgeous.

Krista Lenz was nothing more than an alias, though. Her true identity was Historia Reiss, the sole heir of the Reiss family, a prestigious and wealthy family that even dated back to times centuries away (which, according to Ymir, is a "long-ass time"). Historia (although Ymir much preferred calling her by Krista) happened to stumble across the tan woman when she was lying in an alleyway, completely piss-drunk and about to pass out in the cold winter night. If it hadn't been for the blonde passing by and dragging the taller (and much heavier) Ymir to Krista's apartment, Ymir would have probably been dead and all alone, with no one to even notice or care (the taller woman always had a knack for dramatizing the story; Krista would simply laugh and tell the story in its true form).

Over time, their relationship grew. Then one night, with a sprinkle of mischief, several mugs of beer, and a handful of debauchery, they—to put it cleanly—had sex. Out of all of her lays, Ymir knew that Krista was the best one, hands down. She was more than happy when they mutually decided that they would become steady. They weren't necessarily a couple, but they knew that they were something much more than friends. It was a complicated relationship, but they thought nothing more of it, and simply stuck with the label 'friends with benefits'.

It worked for a while, but then feelings got involved—on Ymir's side. It was subtle at first, and she was sure that it was going to ebb and fade like all the other people she had thought she had romantic interest in, but it did the complete opposite. It grew at a rapid pace, germinating into a stubborn and irritating crush, to a full-bloomed flower that she knew had to be love (although, as usual, she loathed to admit such a "cheesy-ass thing"). It was one-sided—or rather, that's what Ymir had initially thought. During one night when they had had several drinks too many and were lying in the bed alone with nothing but a sheet on top of their naked bodies, an intoxicated Historia began mumbling quiet lines of sweet nothings. Since Ymir was able to hold her liquor much better than the younger and small blonde, she listened in, quite intrigued.

"I love you, Ymir."

After a while, Krista stirred for a bit, readjusting herself so that she could rest her forehead on Ymir's chest. The latter could only stare at the head of flaxen on top of her, before grinning ear-to-ear about that newfound revelation.

"I do too, Krista. I do too."

Ymir swore that she heard a soft giggle come from the heiress.

Of course, Ymir refused to actually believe that Krista had a thing for her the next morning. After all, it must have been the alcohol talking, right? Something about being in the heat of the moment was an excuse that Ymir brushed it off aside as.

But still, Krista gave her a shy look and mumbled, "You heard me last night, didn't you?"

Ymir grinned at this and couldn't help the smug grin that split her face, "Oh, damn right I did."

"Ymir, that's not what I meant!" The blonde hid her face in her palms, shaking her head in disbelief.

The raven-haired woman laughed before settling into a more serious note. "You meant what you said before we crashed?"

Krista nodded, separating her hands from her face.

There was a silence until Ymir broke it, "I did."

"And," Krista gave an unsure look to her side, "you replied, didn't you?"

At this point, Ymir had no idea what the blonde was trying to go with this. "Yeah, I did. So what?"

Sighing, Krista shook her head no before giving Ymir a smile, a soft one. It was a somber look, and Ymir didn't understand why such an expression was on her visage? They just revealed they like each other, didn't they? Wasn't this the part where Krista ran into her arms and they continued to lay in bed doing absolutely nothing?

_She's probably just a little hungover,_ Ymir concluded, approaching the blonde and then planting a soft kiss on her cheek.  _Let's see if I can't wake her up._ Grinning to herself, she slowly pushed the blonde on her back, and their passion began to heighten once more.

Ymir, however, never found out the true meaning behind that sad smile until six months into their relationship.

It was another night of pleasure between the both of them, but this particular event had Historia uneasy. Her charming blue eyes kept shifting between her lover's brown ones and the ground, clearly distraught on what to do. Ymir just quirked an eyebrow and sighed, sitting up so that she was resting against the headboard of her bed.

"Listen Krista, if you have something to tell me, just get it over with." Ymir crossed her arms, waiting patiently for the blonde to speak.

It took a long minute before Krista was able to gather herself to do so. "I don't know how to tell you."

"Just say it bluntly."

"I can't just do that—"

"I think you're hot and great in bed." Ymir randomly declared, her eyes doing a quick check of her girlfriend's naked body before they fleeted up to meet her eyes. "See? Just do it like that, why don't you."

Krista's cheeks were flushed and she took another breath, closing her eyes as she did so. Releasing it as a sigh, she still had that unsure look. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You know me, I don't get hurt easily. Must I remind you how well I handled a hammer falling on my toe?"

This managed a small smile on the blonde's face, the exact same somber smile. "It included a lot of swearing and wide gestures."

Ymir grinned. "Exactly, now spill."

"My family has arranged for me to marry a man, and I cannot stop it. I've tried my very best, but I just…I just can't."

Ymir's heart instantly jumped to her throat, and fell like that god-forsaken hammer into her stomach.  _And I said I don't get hurt easily._ She ran her fingers through her mussed hair, absolutely at a loss. She stared at Krista with an unbelievable expression, clearly pained by the news. Historia was losing her composure much too fast, however.

"I'm so sorry, Ymir. I wish I could stop it, I really do, but I simply can't. They won't listen to a word I say despite my arguments and refusals, but their minds are set. I'm so, so sorry, Ymir. You…you know how much I love you, don't you?" Krista shook her head, the tears spilling much too fast. "I never wanted this, honest. I just…I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm at such a loss, and  _my God_ I am so sorry." She sobbed "I'm sorry" multiple times, before Ymir reached out with a sad smile of her own.

"Then let's make it so that the guy has some competition when he finally gets to you, huh?" Ymir chuckled, leaning down to plant kisses on Krista's neck, but instead rested there, feeling her own tears trickle down.

_Damn, this hurts._

-x-

The lips that tickled across her skin caused Ymir to look over to her side, seeing a rousing Krista. With a faint smile, Ymir allowed the blonde to do as she pleased, anticipating another round with her lover.

But in several more hours or so, Historia Reiss would leave her for the man she was meant to marry.

The truth still pained her, up to the point where she would have to separate herself from the blonde just to have alone time to wallow in her misery and alcohol in peace. They had both made agreements to go their own ways slowly, first limiting the dates, then the time they spent together, to the days where they were allowed see each other physically, and finally, the times they were able to have sex with one another. Of course, they weren't able to keep away from each other completely, often having small conversations through text or the like. Those conversations, however, lasted for only an hour or so until one of them forgot to reply, did not have enough time to check their phone, or simply just didn't want to say anything at the moment (this was usually done by Ymir, though. She just made excuses to cover it up her lack of reply).

When the pair of lips reached over to her hickey-ridden neck, Ymir gave a sigh, causing Krista to stop and give her a worried look.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked.

Ymir shook her head no in a very faint movement. "No, of course not; you know all of the techniques and things that make me feel good." This earned her small whimper from the tiny blonde. The former laughed, burying her nose into Krista's flaxen hair to take in her scent. "I'm just thinking how…surreal this all feels to be, if that makes any sense."

It took a moment for Krista to respond. "It does kind of seem like that."

The tanned woman gave a bitter chuckle. "You get to finally get rid of me."

"You know I would never want that," Krista snapped, raising her head to look Ymir in the eye. The near-furious look in her cerulean eyes nearly caught the latter off-guard. "You know how much I love you, and how much it hurts to leave you to be," the conviction in her eyes faded away, "with a man. It feels a bit sickening, to be honest."

Ymir could only brush back the bangs that got in Historia's beautiful eyes. "You're not the only one hurting."

"Didn't you say that you don't get hurt easily?"

Ymir smiled a soft, morose smile. "Did I?"

Krista returned it with one of her very own. "You did."

"Don't remember doin' so at all."

"Well you know what you  _are_ going to remember?"

"What?"

Krista smiled and leaned in, going for a very soft kiss on Ymir's lips. "It's going to be tonight: the last night we had together."

Ymir had to smile for real; she really did love the coy side Krista only showed to her. "Then let's get started, shall we?"

Krista instantly pressed her lips against Ymir's, eliciting a pleased groan from the latter. They nipped at each other's lips, tongues trespassing mouths, wave after wave of sensation flooding their senses. Their mouths broke, but only slightly, their lips grazing with one another as their pants intertwined, not finding it in themselves to fully break the contact. Brown stared intensely into blue, accumulating feelings flashing across one after another in rapid fire. No words were needed; just a simple glance was enough.

I want you.

I need you.

Don't leave me.

But I have to.

I'll miss you.

I will too.

…I love you.

Ymir searched desperately for the response, but saw nothing inside the hauntingly beautiful blue that Krista was known for. Instead, the blonde responded with a kiss as she climbed on top, the former having no other choice but to reciprocate.

This kiss lasted a bit longer than the previous one, heating up the tension between them as Krista's hands began to roam across Ymir's skin. They kneaded her breasts, her soft palms running across the center point of them. Ymir exhaled heavily, deepening the kiss through her excitement. She twitched as she felt Krista pinch her nipples, pleasure running through every route in her body.

Eventually, Krista had moved from Ymir's lips to her neck, leaving nibbles and marks in her wake. Ymir noticed the assertiveness the small woman showcased at certain times, such as when she was biting into her skin a bit too hard when leaving a bruise, or how she would rub her thigh a little too roughly against her. After a long, hard kiss that Krista had initiated, Ymir knew why: she wanted to leave an impression. Not just a physical impression, oh no, Krista wanted to make Ymir remember her. The blonde wanted Ymir to remember her for as long as she'll live. Krista always wanted someone, at least  _one_ individual to at least notice her for what she truly was. What better person to leave a mark on (metaphorically and literally) than Ymir?

Another nibble on the neck and the smaller woman was ready to move on to the tan woman's chest. She sucked and licked, coaxing tiny groans to escape Ymir. A small grin implanted itself on Ymir's face as she reached down to entangle her hand in flaxen locks.

"You having fun there?" Ymir chuckled, but then quickly let out a groan as she felt small fingers fill her. Krista teased her, wiggling her fingers inside, moving them in a "come here" gesture; Ymir could hardly bite back her moans.

_Got my fuckin' answer,_ Ymir thought, biting her lip and grinning. Krista eventually picked up a steady rhythm, sometimes slowing down to give a hard shove. With each of those thrusts, Ymir would grunt and gasp, tightening her grip on the blonde's hair.

Krista released her hold on Ymir's chest, going up to nibble on her neck and throat. This was the final straw, and Ymir moaned lowly, turning her head to the side and breathed heavily, taking in the scent of sweat and Krista's smell. Her abdomen clenched, her toes curled, and an overwhelming wave of pleasure encompassed her. For a moment, Ymir could only breathe in short, heavy pulses, her chest heaving heavily with every intake of air. It took a long while for her to come down from her high, and when she did, she closed her eyes as she buried her nose in Krista's hair.

None of them said anything, save for the labored breathing that came from Ymir. After a while, Krista lifted her head and stared into Ymir's eyes, an ambiguous smile playing on her lips.

"You came pretty hard that time," she whispered, going for a much lighter kiss than the previous ones she had initiated earlier. "Did you enjoy it?"

"Do you have to ask?" Ymir chuckled, shaking her head faintly.

Krista gave a breath of amusement. "Maybe; I don't know until I get an answer."

Ymir laughed louder at this. "You did a damn good job, Krista." The brunette instigated a kiss with the blonde, a heated kiss that turned the light-hearted afterglow into a hotter atmosphere. When she pulled back, Ymir could see the lust twinkling in Krista's charming blue eyes. "Think it's time to repay the favor?"

Krista nodded softly, and Ymir smiled. The latter planted down kisses until she reached the former's flat abdomen, peppering it with light, feather-like touches. Krista squirmed under Ymir's touch, letting out breathy moans. Her hands reached down and pulled roughly on the brunette's hair as Ymir licked her center.

"Y-Ymir!" Krista exclaimed, gyrating her hips as Ymir inserted two digits into her. Her moans got louder and louder, her tight grip tightening even further. Ymir licked and nipped, making sure to hit that  _one spot_  that always sent Krista reeling. The smell of the blonde's arousal was filling her senses. Picking up the pace, the brunette moved her fingers faster, along with sucking Krista's clit. Ymir grazed it with her teeth on accident, but it seemed to be enough to push the blonde over the edge. Krista curled her toes and took a shuddering breath, her walls tightening around Ymir's fingers. She tensed up, her muscles taut as her body shook with pleasure. Ymir noticed the sweetened taste of Krista, and did her best to clean her up (by licking her, of course). Once she was done, Ymir sat up and casually studied the blonde's face, whose eyes were closed, her arm covering her forehead, and her cheeks an incredible shade of red.

"You okay?" Ymir asked, crawling over to lie next to Krista. The latter opened her eyes, the beautiful blue that Ymir always loved showing signs of tiredness.

"Yeah, I just, uh," Krista's face got impossibly redder, "came really hard."

Ymir grinned with pride. "Well,  _I_ was the one who got you off, so of course you would!"

"Don't be so full of yourself."

"I wouldn't be if it wasn't true."

Krista rolled her eyes and smiled, using her finger to connect the various dots splattered across her face and bodies.

"I'll miss you," she whispered completely out of the blue, tilting her head to land a soft kiss upon Ymir's. Ymir made sure to make this one last, branding the feel and taste of her lips into her memory forever.

"I will, too."

Krista gave one, last smile, the same sad smile that Ymir found absolutely charming, despite its meaning. The latter gave one of her own.

"Good night," Ymir paused a bit, placing a soft peck on the blonde's forehead. "…I love you."

Krista gave a quite giggle and mumbled something under her breath, which Ymir managed to catch with her sharp hearing.

"I love you, too."

**Author's Note:**

> I will make an epilogue and an extra chapter soon. So please, be patient. c:


End file.
